Category Archives: Not Studying

So how much do i have to pay?

don’t you just hate it when it’s time to open your wallet and shove that card or cash to the cashier?and what i hate more is when you pay using credit card, you feel bad twice. the second one of course would be by the time you get the bill.

I’m paying now. the bill has come and now is the time for me to pay. daaaaaannggg. no, im not talking about money. even tho, yes, my electric and gas bills are overdue. again. 😦 whose idea was that for me to live alone?im not ready for this taking care of a household thing.
so despite the euphoria, placebo effect of 2 days of drinking binge, everything is asking for its toll. and oh my, what a huge bill.
I’m losing my voice, now i sound even sexier than ever with a sore husky voice. I totally feel like shyt, for constant feel of puking the whole day. and coming back to an empty room doesnt help. man i’m as lonely as a dowager in the forbidden city. without the pretty clothes and the maids. and jay chou.

no, no jay chou in 지산2동.

so here i am left alone with the residue of my sunday breakfast (a can of bud) and dinner (tender chicken from  BK).  ah~the awesomeness of life. and yes, budweiser was one of the very first things got into my stomach today. shoot me.

it was not until the halloween party was  over last night, that i realised i had a stranger’s bank card in my hand.

this guy was wasted, and craving for pancakes, he produced the card from his crotch beneath his black tights (nono dont ask, it was halloween. ) and dropped it on the ground, and of course continued being tipsy wasted. a good-natured person that i am, i took the card (touching it as less as possible, dear gawd, it was on his crotch!), and never intended to ever come near his crotch to put the card back, i slipped it into the plastic wrap of my cig pack (i lost several cards this way, but i never learn.), and then totally forgot about it. I was thinking to give it back after a while, but nooo. the card wanted to be mine, i think that was the message it was trying to tell me.

so long story short, i realised i still had the card way too late. next thing in the morning, i searched this person on facebook, found someone under the right name from the right city, and tossed my two cent that this would be the right person.  and so off i went downtown on a holy mission, giving back someone’s hard-earned money that he lost due to his halfwitness getting drunk on a halloween night.  oh my sunday.  and thats how i got budweiser as my breakfast. i only had two tiny mandus at home before i left, and this guy offered me a beer under the bright october afternoon sky. why not, eh? and being a cheapskate, this dimwit bought me a can of bud from mini stop and we drank sitting on the pavement outside the store and talked about nonsense.  oh yeah chowdy. thats how we roll in south jeolla province.  (damn i hope he wont find this page by accident) met eddie and javier and his girl while sitting there btw.

so yeah went back home felt even sicker than before. facing the computer again, email:  nothing good. facebook : as boring as it can be. dailysquee and failbook: nothing new. bbc: still burns my brain. and holy crap!

thesis.

I’m hating my computer, there’s nothing good it brings cept for false hope and stress. huh. i restrained myself from throwing it onto the wall and crush it optimus prime would definetely do because…well..because it would be expensive to pay all the damage. and im broke, darlings. i really am. oh how this life has drained me inside out. someone send me a dog, please. saw a black labrador pup walking down the downtown street too. oh~~adorable!!

and here some snaps of gwangju downtown on a sunday afternoon. didn’t get the puppy shoot.

And now it feels like..

constipation. which sadly is real. too gross?sorry, my space, my story. i had bananas today tho, heard it helps. werk it, bananas!

today i also dyed my hair. total failure, of course. wrong colour, and prolly wrong technique. also wrong day to do it. if only i’d known…id save this fail for another day.

It is dawning on me, that I don’t really have that much of happy stories in my blog. Life and its casualties, inevitably, put me in a not so good of a place these days.

I am supposed to be studying right now for the thesis qualification exam,  but i just finished one article without really understanding what on earth that piece of crap was talking about, so i decided to take a rest and refresh my mind, and try to be happy. or like id love to call it from now on: self-service happiness.  I am a filthy old lady 😉

umm.

umm..

ok.

so.

apparently i’m not really good at this. self-service happiness.

ok. so there is this one song that always, well almost most of the time, brings me back to one of the happiest time spans in my life. I listened to it just now, and it did proliferate my mood meter. the song is Lucky from Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat.

Two years ago, my first autumn in Korea, (well heck, it was my first autumn everywhere) October 12th 2008, around 5 PM. I was sitting alone at the park in Yonsei University, trying to review the Korean books and do some homeworks. yes i was that much of a geek. I had my laptop on playing some music, and from its full-treble-no-bass speaker, came this song, and I smiled. or maybe not, I don’t remember exactly how my facial expression was, but I’m pretty much sure it must showed at least a tiny grin. What i remember exactly was that I knew it’s gonna be my song. I think i thought i was gonna be in love with my best friend. well he was there at that time, instead of being across the ocean, but hey, the song fit enough ok??at least part of it. a tiny part. but whatever. It was a damn good feeling and i was loving every second of the moment. until…

you asked how i can remember the very details of that day?

these freakin green big fat flies suddenly came and pretty much grossed up my Lucky moment. jerks. so much for the romantic fantasy and whatnot. I took some snaps with my cellphone cam, and i recorded all the details of when and where those magic feelings started dawning on me. (lame and harlequin-ish choice of words, i know i know, but the heck, you know what i mean).

so ladies and gentlemen, and spammers, as you can see, i do have happy moments. moment. did have. whatever. and the song. it does still make me smile.

Feels like..

hanging on by thin thread, a rotten thin thread. I think it’s a disease. I think i’m having a hanging-on-by-rotten-thin-thread disease.

maybe actually it’s not that thin, or not even rotten. maybe it’s not even a thread. maybe its a thick steel cable, with good insulator, made in germany.  maybe from BASF. But the tingles, they are telling me, it IS a thin thread. too thin to hold anything weigh more than a casual chat with a stranger in a bar, too rotten to put up with more than a few hours of that chat. definitely not suitable for a bungee jumping.

i dont think there is any cure to this. and that, my dear-almostnonexistent readers, creeps the hell outta me. part of me wants to cut the thread off, just let myself free. gonna be a tough fall when i hit the bottom of the pit but it’s freedom after that. with some fractures here and there. oh man maybe i wont even survive the impact. but it’s better than suffocate yourself hanging in the middle of nowhere with this dreaded thin thread around your body, right?

Or i could wait until the thread is broken by itself, and in the meantime, i just enjoy the scenery from up there? but tell me how would you enjoy floating by a thread, knowing the thread could break at anytime?leaving you free falling, with the same fractures and injury, plus a heart attack.

How i hope it is in fact a steel cable, or rafia, at least. it hurts but it’s an asshole to be broken barehanded.

or if i have to fall, please dear God, make it a quick one.

or you know what, God, just give me some chill pills.  Thank you.

And one week later..

this infamous poster pretty much sums it up.

quote me

sometimes when i feel not on top of the world, or when i feel like being the wisest person because of the sufferings i had to go through, i resume my situation and knowledge in several words in a sentence or two, and hoping someday people will quote me the way they do Abraham Lincoln, for example. or Marilyn Monroe. or Sarah Palin. heck if Sarah Palin can be quoted, why can’t i?
so here are some of my gems. i might make a book someday. when i grow up. or when i’m an A-list celebrity.

~I believe chili is a rudimentary element of every dish.
~Every dish taste better when they have chili in it.
~I don’t need my family or my boyfriend to badmouth me. OOh no, i have a handful of people ready to do the job out there, thank you very much.
~Facestab, no backstab.
~All you need to make yourself happy is believing that you are happy. Doesn’t always work, but then so what. Placebo is better than nothing.
~The calming effect of smoking cigarettes takes place when you integrate puffing and shutting your mouth.
~Polishing shoes is good for your mental health.
~When you wanna do number 2 but lacking off the pressure, imagine yourself being on a bus and the next stop is 3 hours away.
~Smile in the morning when you wake up, the rest of the day will go better.

I should know when to stop running

so i was on the way back home from school just now. i didnt get any good sleep for couple of days so i just couldnt freakin wait to get home and rest my ass on the bed. so i ran home.

im a quarter century old, and im still running on the way home like a 9 year old cant wait for having mummy’s lunch after school. im just super cool like that. or not. see i prolly wouldnt run (just maybe, who knows. so what if i run in front of people) if i had taken the normal way, which is like, where normal people would just take on and from the way school. but today?i took the special route, dangerous route, where the wild things are. well not exactly, but its still a jungle-ish dirt road and not so many people use it, so you dont wanna use it after dark, for example, or even before dark. so its dirt, rocky, lots of trees and birds, and from my place, its going uphill. the contour of my campus, just most of any other campuses in South Korea, is very hilly. and my school?i just happen to be so lucky to have the building at the highest ground of the whole campus, that if you go downtown or somewhere in radius 50000 km, you can turn your head, and say “oh, i know someone who studies in that building”. im even pretty much sure you can see it from Japan if only Fuji mountain was not blocking your view.
so yeah, the dirt road is indeed, pretty steep.
i was running down the steep hill, and i so-not-graciously fell and lost all my faith in all things beautiful in this world.
of course not. i was just soooooo grateful noone was around, cos a girl with big orange backpack, red blazer, bruno magli super shiny oxford, and wearing shades alone is a pretty weird sighting in a wood. a girl with big orange backpack, red blazer, bruno magli super shiny oxford, and wearing shades walking on a dirt road in the wood, fell to the ground ON HER FACE is a total hilarious catastrophe. i wouldve laughed my ass off if only she wasnt me.

I’m a really nice person. Basically.

I never really mean to hurt anyone without any valid reasons, i can promise you that. So i beg you not to make me sad 😦 so we can have a cheerful world where everyone is happy and jumping around barefooted on the grass.

Today, I was being insulted, for a very worthless reason. People of the internet, I’m officially sad and loosing faith in humanity.

NAAAH..jk.

shit happens, and im not loosing anything. oh, i lost a friend on facebook. well yeah, a facebook friend’s gotta do what a facebook friend’s gotta do. that is, defriend mean-and-not-so-cool friends. yes, i only friend with cool people. i know..i know..

right now, off to bed, seeking remedy in peace, with only one tiny problem. living in the most prestigious level of the building, peace is not really a word in mind when its raining. My top floor presidential suite is prone to heavy blow of wind which right now, is crazily thumping on my fragile windows. oooohhh i hope this place will last another year, at least till i graduate.

tomorrows another day!another dinner to cook!