Category Archives: living shithole

and when its really over..

you just wanna scream and asked what you did wrong, even tho the answer is right there, right in front of you.

Icky Icky Slimy

view from my studio window

you knew it’s coming. inevitably. yeah, mucus everywhere..bwahahahahaha *cough*

i mean, seriously?just last week i thought I’d had sinusitis.

my body works in a weird way. when i forced it to go out, everything was forgotten. this rotten body just forgot that it was battling some rambling disease. oh no your highness, please let yourself out, i know you need it. it’s ok, cos everything will be POSTPONED.

now it’s not that cold yet, i mean, yeah cold enough to keep me stay in the warmth of ondol, but not that deadly cold i’m pretty sure we’ll encounter in the near future. but i can hardly breath even inside the room, under the duvet, with socks on. i have to breath thru my mouth, so now you can imagine this: me spewing magical words on this amazing blog typing seriously while opening my mouth to keep the oxygen flows to my brain and sipping cold green tea once in a while, sucking the mucus in cos i’m just too lazy like that to even go to the bathroom and blow my nose. oh yes i’m so very seksi.

and this is just 2 days before our trip to DMZ.

damn. i was planning not to go initially when i found out about the trip, remembering how boring flat ohshootmethissucksjustgimmethecashoready unmemorable the previous trips we had. or was it me just being anti-social? anywhoo, can’t say both were pleasant journeys. and DMZ?been there, went down the cave, saw the border. the only thing awesome enough was when i saw a pair of birds mating in the air at the observation tower.

(wonder how many strands of christian’s hair i have beneath the keyboard. just found one. again.  kinda hard to forget someone if their hair keeps popping up on your keyboard, ya know)

but so yeah, the DMZ trip. I thought staying at home any longer might kill me and told everyone (who’s willing to listen) that I’m in. so you know what, flu? I’m going. I’m freaking going to the DMZ, looking for the mating birds again.

maybe it was an international pair of birds, who knows? maybe those birds were the only mixed couple from the north and south can have coitus freely. like, without kim jong il fiddling around their sex life in his safari. which i heard is a trend these days in pyongyang. the safari. not him fiddling around. that’s been a trend since 1994.

very fashion-forward. i can totally see him as a trendsetter.


So how much do i have to pay?

don’t you just hate it when it’s time to open your wallet and shove that card or cash to the cashier?and what i hate more is when you pay using credit card, you feel bad twice. the second one of course would be by the time you get the bill.

I’m paying now. the bill has come and now is the time for me to pay. daaaaaannggg. no, im not talking about money. even tho, yes, my electric and gas bills are overdue. again. 😦 whose idea was that for me to live alone?im not ready for this taking care of a household thing.
so despite the euphoria, placebo effect of 2 days of drinking binge, everything is asking for its toll. and oh my, what a huge bill.
I’m losing my voice, now i sound even sexier than ever with a sore husky voice. I totally feel like shyt, for constant feel of puking the whole day. and coming back to an empty room doesnt help. man i’m as lonely as a dowager in the forbidden city. without the pretty clothes and the maids. and jay chou.

no, no jay chou in 지산2동.

so here i am left alone with the residue of my sunday breakfast (a can of bud) and dinner (tender chicken from  BK).  ah~the awesomeness of life. and yes, budweiser was one of the very first things got into my stomach today. shoot me.

it was not until the halloween party was  over last night, that i realised i had a stranger’s bank card in my hand.

this guy was wasted, and craving for pancakes, he produced the card from his crotch beneath his black tights (nono dont ask, it was halloween. ) and dropped it on the ground, and of course continued being tipsy wasted. a good-natured person that i am, i took the card (touching it as less as possible, dear gawd, it was on his crotch!), and never intended to ever come near his crotch to put the card back, i slipped it into the plastic wrap of my cig pack (i lost several cards this way, but i never learn.), and then totally forgot about it. I was thinking to give it back after a while, but nooo. the card wanted to be mine, i think that was the message it was trying to tell me.

so long story short, i realised i still had the card way too late. next thing in the morning, i searched this person on facebook, found someone under the right name from the right city, and tossed my two cent that this would be the right person.  and so off i went downtown on a holy mission, giving back someone’s hard-earned money that he lost due to his halfwitness getting drunk on a halloween night.  oh my sunday.  and thats how i got budweiser as my breakfast. i only had two tiny mandus at home before i left, and this guy offered me a beer under the bright october afternoon sky. why not, eh? and being a cheapskate, this dimwit bought me a can of bud from mini stop and we drank sitting on the pavement outside the store and talked about nonsense.  oh yeah chowdy. thats how we roll in south jeolla province.  (damn i hope he wont find this page by accident) met eddie and javier and his girl while sitting there btw.

so yeah went back home felt even sicker than before. facing the computer again, email:  nothing good. facebook : as boring as it can be. dailysquee and failbook: nothing new. bbc: still burns my brain. and holy crap!

thesis.

I’m hating my computer, there’s nothing good it brings cept for false hope and stress. huh. i restrained myself from throwing it onto the wall and crush it optimus prime would definetely do because…well..because it would be expensive to pay all the damage. and im broke, darlings. i really am. oh how this life has drained me inside out. someone send me a dog, please. saw a black labrador pup walking down the downtown street too. oh~~adorable!!

and here some snaps of gwangju downtown on a sunday afternoon. didn’t get the puppy shoot.

Feels like..

hanging on by thin thread, a rotten thin thread. I think it’s a disease. I think i’m having a hanging-on-by-rotten-thin-thread disease.

maybe actually it’s not that thin, or not even rotten. maybe it’s not even a thread. maybe its a thick steel cable, with good insulator, made in germany.  maybe from BASF. But the tingles, they are telling me, it IS a thin thread. too thin to hold anything weigh more than a casual chat with a stranger in a bar, too rotten to put up with more than a few hours of that chat. definitely not suitable for a bungee jumping.

i dont think there is any cure to this. and that, my dear-almostnonexistent readers, creeps the hell outta me. part of me wants to cut the thread off, just let myself free. gonna be a tough fall when i hit the bottom of the pit but it’s freedom after that. with some fractures here and there. oh man maybe i wont even survive the impact. but it’s better than suffocate yourself hanging in the middle of nowhere with this dreaded thin thread around your body, right?

Or i could wait until the thread is broken by itself, and in the meantime, i just enjoy the scenery from up there? but tell me how would you enjoy floating by a thread, knowing the thread could break at anytime?leaving you free falling, with the same fractures and injury, plus a heart attack.

How i hope it is in fact a steel cable, or rafia, at least. it hurts but it’s an asshole to be broken barehanded.

or if i have to fall, please dear God, make it a quick one.

or you know what, God, just give me some chill pills.  Thank you.

I hate these taxi drivers

for good reasons. most of them talk too much, they uninvitedly ask you personal things, and they are totally lacking of respect. especially when youre a girl, alone, and don’t look like either korean or white. at first all the talking was ok, until im sick with all the daring questions, and recently, the daring stare.

gawd, how can there are so many people in this so-called developed country, still thinking that staring up and down all over someone is something acceptable? it happened last time with me and Yulia. and last night, oh for goodness’ sake, last night was the pinnacle of the taxi drivers’ douchebaggery. I was so mad last night when my taxi driver turn around to examine me, stared at me up and down, that i wanna punch his old freakin ugly face, but instead i just said ‘just drive’. im still so angry right now, how i couldnt say it in proper korean that he was the face of uneducated trash and i feel sorry for his tiny old useless dick.

ive had enough of them. if any of you reading this happen to know a korean taxi driver or two, please tell them, it is nice to have a friendly driver, but being a disrespectful asshole, is a totally different story.

The Lord Has Gone!!

..into oblivion…not. Thanks to Skype, and not so thanks to the crappy MSN. The Lord of Dipshitness aka the boyfriend just moved to Copenhagen on the first of September. Pretty sentimental cos the day marked the start of our (then) new life in Korea, when we started the school back in 2008. And he ended his Korean life right on the same date. ah~life..
And then there were none, but me. No more trips to seoulslashgwacheon every weekend or so, no more..hm yeah, all in all the meaning of his presence in Korea was just that i got to go to Seoul every weekend without spending much for accommodation.
jk. I know he reads this stuff. Joking, My Lord!!please don’t cyber whip me with your cyber belt!

Anyway, yeah..back in Gwangju now. Ah~so hard to see a departure, especially when you’re the one left behind. Everything is so near yet so far. Remembering good times when we were living in Sinchon.  Wondering will you ever go back to Gwacheon, the city we want to live in forever (i didn’t make that up, it’s really their tagline). How the pretty cat we usually fed tuna and spam and cheese will miss us.  Oh and the band. The death metal band. How I’m so gonna miss sitting there at the club watching the gig, trying to stay awake and look like an enthusiastic fan/girlfriend. Seriously, death metal makes me sleepy.

This kinda makes me wanna sing Nelly Furtado’s why do all good things come to an end..come to an end..

To add the sentimental value, here’s a photo of us, in our romantic as per usual state:

by the look of his veins, think he really wanted to beat the crap out of me.

yeah yeah be good there, Bibi..

(and the goddamn budaejjigae *shiver* the only good thing about his leaving is that I don’t have to eat it anymore).

quote me (revisited)

i ended the previous post abruptly somehow and of course i feel obliged to finish it the proper way. so some more precious bits from me and i’m ready for a book contract, publisher darlings!

~school personality and home personality, they do exist.
~time heals, water heals, and so do shoes.
~at one moment you might regret what you have said or haven’t said, but nothing can fix the feeling of not saying the right thing at the right time, and sometimes all you can do is press it down to very back of your mind and hope the next stupid moment to come to layer it.
~i know some people of whom i can tell them “i love you dearly, but i don’t like you in presence”, just like what Tony Bourdain’s mum said about him.
~Lay’s is the best potato chips ever.

oh dear, nothing more coming from my exhausted brain. i just came from a city trip with LOTD, visiting some old korean tomb and shopping some asian gourmet. shouldve jotted them all down before..ill be back later..